Democrat Shutdown (6 Bean Blend)

Introducing Democrat Shutdown, the medium-dark roast that promises everything, delivers nothing, and then holds a press conference about how it’s your fault. Sourced from co-ops where every bean identifies as “non-binary, shade-grown, and unionized,” this guilt-infused blend features complex undertones of committee delays, passive-aggressive tweets, and ironic optimism.

Each sip tastes like hope, heavily taxed with a lingering finish of unfunded social programs and the smug satisfaction of believing you’re the smartest person in the room... despite forgetting how to pass a budget. This roast will warm your soul while cooling your confidence in basic governance.

Carefully roasted in a solar-powered co-working space approved by a 17-member panel on Environmental Bean Justice, Democrat Shutdown is best enjoyed while blaming tech billionaires on a smartphone made by them.

Pairs well with:

• Student debt you promised to cancel

• NPR tote bags that have been canceled

• And blaming Republicans for the thing you didn’t do either

Democrat Shutdown – ideal for sipping through a government closure you said you’d never let happen.