Asylum Breakfast – The Queen’s Last Request (English Breakfast Tea)

Start your day with a cup of Asylum Breakfast, the no-nonsense black tea blend strong enough to survive a boat ride across the Channel and still demand diplomatic immunity. Crafted from the finest African and Indian leaves (colonialism's tastiest souvenirs), this blend brews a rustic, bold cup that salutes the Union Jack while asking politely for amnesty.

Not too complicated because bureaucracy already is Asylum Breakfast stands firm under pressure, just like an expired visa under "administrative review." With a whisper of sweetness and a punch of Parliament, it’s the perfect tea for early-morning detainment hearings or leisurely border negotiations over biscuits.

Add milk and sugar for the full Crown-and-country experience or serve it straight if your patience for delays has already been deported. Either way, Asylum Breakfast promises “good news all day” assuming your sponsor picks up the phone.

Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Co. – Tea Division
Colonially sourced. Comedically served.

🛑 Side effects may include craving crumpets and suddenly apologizing for everything.