Republican Shutdown (6 Bean Blend)

Say hello to Republican Shutdown, the bold dark roast that promises maximum flavor with minimum accountability. Crafted from specialty-grade Central American beans roasted just shy of scorched earth, this brew delivers the rich taste of smug certainty, performative patriotism, and the subtle hint of “we’re doing this for the people” — whoever those people are today.

Like a filibuster in a blackout, this roast goes absolutely nowhere fast. It's big on volume, low on substance, and ideal for anyone who can’t define socialism but is pretty sure coffee is now “woke.”

With every sip, you'll taste the scorched remains of compromise, the bold bitterness of deadlocked budgets, and the smoky aroma of national parks shuttered just in time for your vacation. Best enjoyed while shutting down conversation, government programs, or the opposing viewpoint on Fox at 8pm.

Pairs well with:

• A press conference that blames the other side

• Pocket Constitutions you’ve never read

• And premium hypocrisy, aged in gerrymandered barrels

Republican Shutdown — because flavor should never be bipartisan.

A dark roast that never quite finishes brewing. Perfect for those who love high drama, low productivity, and blaming everyone but themselves. 

Seriously, our premium dark roast blend of specialty grade coffee from Central America